RESOURCES
FOR FAMILIES
Initiating conversations about end-of-life care planning
There is never a right time to start the conversation, and it’s also never too early. Before diving into a nuts and bolts discussion, though (i.e., would you like to be resuscitated or not?), it’s best to begin with conversations about values and what quality of life looks like for your loved one in the future.
In DignitySA’s Advance Directives Planning Guide (4.1.2), we propose one begins with the following types of questions:
What do you feel gives your life its purpose and meaning? What do you particularly value about your physical or mental well-being? What does this make possible for you? Do you most love to be outdoors? Are large family gatherings your happiest times? Do you prefer quiet time alone listening to music or reading? Do you have a favourite pastime such as bridge or crosswords? Do you have a hobby, perhaps painting or collecting?
If you were no longer able to enjoy the things that are important to you because of deterioration in your sight, or hearing, or mobility, would this affect the health care decisions you would make?
Ideally, what would the last day of your life be like? Where would you be? What would you be doing? Who would you be with? What would you eat? Would you want spiritual support? If so, who would provide this?
Are there people to whom you would want to write a letter, or tape a message, perhaps marked for opening at a future time?
How do you want to be remembered? If you were to write your own obituary or epitaph, what would it say?
Are there other personal values you want others to be aware of?
For a humorous entry point into questions like these you might want to share comedian’s Nik Rabinowitz’s answers to our Exit Interview in the first edition of our newsletter, Dignity Matters.
Visit https://www.dignitysouthafrica.org/news1-exit-interview
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