Fully Prepared

My mother died a week ago – I never imagined how much of a gift her natural organisational nature would be.

When she felt she was moving towards the end (two years ago and we laughed at her), she told us very clearly what her burial wishes were. No guessing on our part, and no family debates as a result.

A few months ago, she volunteered to give me POA on all her legal and banking matters.

When she realised she was starting to decline, I explained what Section 7 mandate was to her. She happily signed it, knowing that we’d had the discussion and I knew what her wishes and values were. What was interesting was the shock that my sibling felt, that I should request something like that. He had no desire to be involved in a decision like this.

Her will was in order. She left a concertina file of EVERY imaginable document we might have needed: from her divorce decree, to broker’s names, Telkom and municipality details etc.

The only challenge has been the corporations I’ve dealt with, who make it damn impossible to cancel contracts like Medical Aid and cell phones. Goodness, they are awful people.

But yes – the biggest gift she ever gave us was to leave us with no guessing, no admin hassles and therefore time to breathe and grieve. The latter we did a lot less than expected, because she had been so at peace with leaving.

So when the funeral director asked for a picture of her. I gave him this one.

“It’s very cheerful,” he said, in a tone of voice that was actually saying, “Somber, sober and serious is the appropriate approach,”

I replied, “She was happy to go and fully prepared for her death. She’s telling you that you can die well if you aren’t scared of dealing with it and prepare properly”.

This fabulous picture and example of Love’s Last Gifts was shared with us by Karin Petersen who is a DignitySA Ambassador. We hold her and her family in our heart through this time of loss.